I expect you to be everything I am not

Tinder profiles commonly boast the same statement; “searching for my unicorn.” What exactly does that mean?

Everyone is searching for that special someone to partner with.  Online dating provides the convenience of “shopping” for someone who identically matches the criteria you desire.  Too short? Go left. Good job? Go right. Has a moustache and looks like a pedophile? Block. The initial step of weeding out prospects is quite easy and relatively painless.

Last night I matched up with a cute guy with a red beard and a baseball hat.  His profile description was fairly simple, “Looking for someone that knows what they want from life.” Great!  I love it!  I have always been a big fan of having a plan.  I have a plan for everything I do, and paired with my plan is usually a list, and a dozen or so Post-It notes. Not everyone has a plan, not everyone knows what they want in life; which is fine.

I started talking to this guy, Dan. Dan is 29 years old, and planning to go back to school for phlebotomy, he currently works in the Deli at a local grocery store.  I noticed he went to school at UMass, as a fellow UMass alumni I asked him what his major was.  Dan studied in psychology and philosophy (..random).  He decided later on that he didn’t want to do either. He briefly worked as a CNA, but decided he hated it and quit; however, in the next breath he told me if phlebotomy doesn’t work out he might go back to school for nursing.  I didn’t want to tell him that nursing and being a nurse aide are… well… kind of similar.

I find it puzzling that we expect our partners to manifest qualities, that we ourselves, don’t possess.  How dare someone go online and expect their partner to know what they want in life, yet they can’t choose between getting tacos or cheesecake for lunch.  Online dating has reinforced this entitled generation of millennials (yes, I can say that because I am a millennial) to expect a unicorn-style prospect to emerge from a dating app when, they themselves haven’t so much as left their mother’s basement.  I expect you to be everything that I am not.  What drives this thought process?  When I think about it, my initial reaction is narcissism, and it turns me off from online dating altogether.  I will never fit your mold, and I certainly cannot be something you are not.

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