Italian Stallion

Gaetano was my 1st ‘first-date’ since last Summer; so to honor my blog, I bit the bullet and dipped my toes back into the online dating pool.

Gaetano just moved to America from Italy last week, on a work Visa. I was his first ‘American’ Tinder date.

Let me quickly say— there are many, many reasons to date a European; they dress nice, they eat well, they tend to be very open and forthcoming, they don’t have dirt and shit under their nails, great sex drive, and most of all it guarantees a vacation with your own personal tour guide—did I say that out loud?

On our date, Gaetano and I went out to dinner for Greek (my absolute favorite). Gaetano is ridiculously attractive (see picture). He spoke English very, very well.  He told me he learned English from watching American movies. He knew a lot of pop culture as well, it was actually very impressive.

Halfway through my heap of stuffed grape leaves we started talking about online dating and recent relationships. Gaetano says to me, “I had four girlfriends this year.  They all loved me, but I didn’t love them back, it’s okay though I told them I didn’t love them in the beginning.  One of them is still mad”.  He said this to me in the exact same way Juan Pablo said this to Andi on The Bachelor.  “Itssssss okayyyy” … and with that, I was done.

Through this date I learned that the bullshit games men play are international. I was then able to teach him a new American phrase, leading someone on.  Europeans are just like us, but they might have more sex.  We spent the next day shopping for furniture at IKEA, I then taught him the words ‘ugly’ and ‘tacky’.  Although there was no chemistry, we might actually be new friends.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: