Online dating: the algorithm

 

There is a certain formula that comes with online dating that you must learn before you can begin.

Matches mean nothing-

At any given time you can find a match.  I can easily get 30 or so matches in an hour of swiping (sans carpal tunnel). I think at one time my Tinder boasted 600+ connections.

Of your matches, 10% or so will contact you.  Of those 10%, 1 in 10 will still be talking to you after 3 days.  Actually going on a date?  Forget it.  I think I’ve met less than ten of my online connections, ten out of 600.  True Story.

Tuesday and Wednesdays are the best days to match, anything before Tuesday is too far from the weekend.  Many times my matches will talk until Friday and then ghost until Monday of the following week, this is known as the weekend fade-away, it’s normal. If they faded you out for the weekend, they will most certainly ghost you in the next 24-48 hours.

Anyone that messages you on Friday night at 9:52p with “what are you up to tonight?” isn’t worth the effort.  Anyone that consistently messages you for over a week, without meeting is… married. Anyone that messages you without any sort of conversational depth, is pooping.  If you have a first date and a *gasp* great connection with someone that is “too busy” to meet up for another 2 or 3 weeks you are the sidepiece to the sidepiece.

Thank u, next.

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